Surviving Infidelity – 5 Best Tips
Have you recently gone through a serious relationship or marriage that suffered from a cheating partner or spouse? And because of this, have you noticed your nervous when you think about dating again because you know it’ll be harder to trust people this time around? Here are 5 Dating Tips for Infidelity Survivors to help get back to the old you before the post-infidelity stress disorder and/or additional uneasy troubles began.
1. Do some research
Before you get into anything physical or even before going on actual dates, use your resources and do some research! There are countless blogs online that are written by real people who have gone through the same thing you may be wondering about. It may also comfort you knowing other people have gone through similar situations. Reading about their experiences and how they have moved on may inspire you to do the same. Through your research you may also find chat rooms or groups that meet up so you can share your story which will help in your healing process.
2. Create boundaries
Once you begin getting yourself out there create boundaries immediately between yourself and the other person. Start with personal boundaries and be honest with yourself. For example, when you feel yourself getting stressed or comparing this person to your infidelity situation, spend a night alone reflecting about why you may feel this way before telling them about it. Secondly, boundaries between you and this person will be key to making this work. Perhaps sharing phone passwords is a good idea to put you at ease or only texting at certain times to allow each other your alone time without leaving you over analyzing why this person isn’t answering.
Talk to your new partner more than you have done before. Tell them about your previous situation so they know why you may act certain ways or feel certain feelings sometimes. Remember, they can’t read your mind and this will help with many aspects of your new relationship, especially creating the boundaries you want to set. Also, be honest and open with this person. You will have moments you begin to mistrust them so tell them when this is happening. This will ensure there are no situations where you’re angry for no reason and they’re wondering what they did wrong.
4. Innocent until proven guilty
While communicating your feelings remember not to sound accusatory towards them. This person did nothing wrong and it isn’t fair to them to put your baggage on their emotions. While it is important to let them know how you’re feeling, until they’re the ones who have done something to you, it isn’t their fault for your negative emotions.
5. Set your own pace
This is arguably the most important tip out of the five listed. Spend time thinking things through and and reflecting on how taking certain steps make you feel. Never do anything you know you’re not emotionally or physically ready for no matter how long it takes. But also remember, there are many others who have gone through similar situations who have found happiness!