How To Save Your Marriage
Sometimes letting go seems to be the easiest solution. But see it this way: you’ve invested a lot of your time and energy to be with another, you have made a solemn promise; and you know that there is still love, even if it is hidden under the surface. This article will show you how to save your marriage and avoid divorce, even if the effort comes only from you. If you want to bring back the happy days of your wedding and lay the most painful forgotten, read this article that will tell you what to do.
Try to understand why things went wrong: You cannot move forward as long as you do not know what is holding you back. Most relations generate some injuries, and these injuries may block access to a healthy relationship. Your job is to think long and hard to find the causes of the problem.
Here are some example of the causes;
- A growing incompatibility – Work, family, stress, financial problems, as well as everything the modern world overwhelms us daily can reveal the true nature of people. Husbands and wives of everyday life they are very different from their version of fairy tale.
- Infidelity – The weight of an extramarital affair he has been on your shoulders or those of your partner? A recent confession is it the cause of the disaster?
- Lack of communication – This is where partner does not understand what you are telling him, and you do not hear anything that he / she tells you. Maybe even that you do not say anything at all.
- Money – While one is a spendthrift, the other is very efficient and we cannot get along. Or maybe the growing financial insecurity makes you fiercely grow negative marital attitude.
- Sex – If sex is the physical representation of your love for each other, weakening this symbol may sadden you both emotionally and physically.
Ask yourself if this is wrong can be repaired: It is natural to try to do to save the ship from sinking, but if the boat is already in tatters, is it still worth saving? No one can make that decision for you, but know that there is some fault in people or in a relationship it’s better not to try to change.Know that people rarely change. It is often said that change, but it rarely does. Once you feel comfortable everything will get back to its norm.
Open up communication with your partner: Try to find out how he / she thinks your relationship can improve. When you begin this hard conversation note the following tips:
- Do not take an accusatory tone. In rejecting their fault, you will only destroy the lines of communication between you. Instead of saying “I thought you take care of this problem, it is because you did not because I am angry,” rather say “We both know that nobody is perfect. I just thought you were going to deal with this problem, so I was surprised when I saw that this was not the case. “
- Count to three before answering. We tend to respond impulsively before even listening to what the other has to say. So count to three before answering, and consider doing that just told you your spouse (s). Appearing calm and in control of yourself, you can do the same on his side.
Talk to a marriage counsellor (optional): Though costly, a marriage counsellor will give you a nuanced perspective on your marriage. He may be able to put your finger on what’s wrong with the information recovered, while keeping a certain emotional distance. Because it is not his skin will be at stake, so to speak, there is less risk that it lie, make shortcuts or to omit facts which would prejudice him. A marriage counsellor could very well save your marriage.
Find out if the change is possible: Your partner is it totally opposed to any concessions? If this is the case, it may be difficult to make the change you want to see in your relationship. If you’re not sure (e), search your partner and see if he / she appears willing (e) to make the changes necessary to save your relationship.